je m’appelle christiannn

for midweek to pass quickly.

A family in the Southern Province of China, were puzzled when the coffin of their dead grandmother arrived from the States. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top; which read as follows.

Dear Cousins,
I am sending Ahma body to you since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Tung Shin. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ahma’s body, 12 cans of Yohmeitsu, 10 packets of Swiss chocolates and packets of Chinatown Lap Cheong. Please divide these among all of you. On Ahma’s feet you will find a new pair of Nike Air shoes (size 10) for Ah boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Ah Mei’s and Ah Lien’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ahma is wearing 6
CK T-Shirts. The large size is for Ah Bak and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Armani Jeans that Ahma is wearing are for the boys. The Rolex watch that Lee Ah Bai wanted is on Ahma’s left wrist.

Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei, Ahma is wearing the Tiffany necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white Polo cotton socks that Ahma is wearing must be divided among my teenage cousins.

Let me know what else you need as Ah Kong is also not keeping wellnowadays. I can send all required things when our Ah Kong also……………………

my gawd this is classic, was looking at some old emails i have and this from jieqi more than 2 years ago was amazingly good.

im that –> |–| close to losing my patience towards the whole bullshit of waiting for officers to leave before we leave. much more is to be explained for each individual to understand. i literally play the michael buble’s song HOME loud everyday after 7, and i pelt to the line that goes ‘LET ME GO HOME’. i tell myself i will just put up with it as i have less than 3 more months to ORD, but sometimes i find that its a really big joke.

well im unable to comprehend why people refuse to bathe in the morning before they get out of their house. especially when they need to travel on trains or buses, plus on the NEL every morning, you are practically |-| that close to the next person that its damn obvious if you happen to be horny, so the smell is even more intense.

well the next strenous bowls season kicks off tmr, with the tuas league stretching 10 weeks, with triples and fours mixed somewhere in there, ORD will come very quickly.

20 more days to the end of this bullshit! it will be 3999 999 smiles awaiting the delegates, less me.

going to work for me is a test of my nerves, not to smack that fool in front of me everyday. despite that fact that i have 3 buses to serangoon mrt everyday, all 3 are always packed, and takes 15 mins to travel that short journey. it ain’t exactly that welcoming as i have probably woken up late. oh getting into the train is another thing at serangoon, which makes you wonder where did they come from.

in the train you have to contend with people who decides to read their books with the minute amount of space they have, and those who just simply refuse to move in, because if she did, that space can fit 2 of her. sometimes (today) i have to content with the guy in front of me who has chose not to bathe before coming out of house. he stank like hell. the NEL is also like a roller coaster ride, where u see people falling onto each other everyday.

the next rush comes at dhoby ghaut, where 80% of the people get off. the travellators automatically filter to form 2 queues, one for those who just want to stand (usually on the left) and let the travellator move their ass, or those (like me) who can’t wait to get off it so I can connect to the City Hall train. Its vital you get off the train quick at dhoby ghaut because you only need 1 idiot who decides to stop in the those-that-want-to-hurry-queue and there goes your train at city hall.

of cos, that happens almost all so often and it gets me very irritated. this morning i just happened to get my left hand squeezed in between the butts of 2 fat indian women. and the one in front of me rushed to the door when the train hit city hall, but stopped short of the door only to find out that she’s decided to move her arse there so she can get off faster at Raffles Place, keeping her fat arse in my way.

these sorta things happen everyday, if i decide to be early, some indian guy will decide to molest some women, or some itchy hands will press the emergency button on the NEL, and it can happen together, though jieqi might beg to differ.

for all those that are interested, i was on tv for 3 seconds last week, storing water into the fridge. mabbe i should say it was only my hands. had attempted to go for the library booksale on sat morn, only to be stunned by the amazing singaporeans that were there before me. just look at the crowd, some people were even shouting just to get in. well we gave up in the end.

went for lunch with jieqi and her friend kutu for lunch at fish & co. not before taking a whole hell lot of time at singpost with that woman who just couldn’t get anything right. i ended up having to pay so many times when she could just combine the receipt into one. they both thought i sent myself off to US as well. aniway i found something i will eat besides the seafood platter for 2, the wrasse fillet was good, better than coriander catch of course.

the evening was just great, watching the fireworks at an amazing place, with views second to none. of course good stuff must be accompanied by good beer. baron strongbrew made me go mad, i was practically on an empty stomach, and the beer made me want to kick that guy in front of me on the bus, who incidentally refused to shut up throughout the whole trip to ang mo kio. that was the 3rd 1 hr bus ride for the day.

the best shot i could take of the fireworks that night. the rest turned out rubbish. i took a video of the last 3 mins, and have uploaded it onto youtube. had a good laugh on all those people clogging the padang and fullerton bridge, swarm of bees they look like from my angle, pardon me, i just had to do that.

http://www.youtube.com/v/PfIhsZUiiOc

i spent sunday visiting a factory outlet sale with samuel, he became a fox whore that day, while i only bought 1 shirt. met candy at scc for a short game of bowls, or hurling in fact on that day.

went out for dinner with shuming and rongsen tonight. and since we were all on a budget and weren’t too hungry, we decided to eat at a kopitiam with extremely sweet teh ping and kopi. we shared an XL murtabak, quite interesting, 3 men grown up men sharing a murtabak. the photo is so blur as i forgot to switch it back to high resolution.

anyway last picture we took before we all headed our own ways, wonder when it will be again before we meet up. lets just hope september will be fast for us.

received an extremely cool birthday invitation from richelle next month. its nice of her to still remember me, and her party is like just opposite my house. and ming li has got into the semi-finals in brunei with melvin, please, you guys can win, so just win. you have the gold, silver and bronze to win, thats 75% of winning a silverware, good luck again!

okie, it took me an hour to get this thing up, if it decides to go missing while publishing, i am just going to throw my laptop down the window.

i was on a cab home last night, and i had a long chat with the taxi driver, in teochew of cos. we talked about the government, it was interesting. about elections, that why do singaporeans keep choosing the PAP and when they win, they start complaining on the things the PAP are not doing. also, he went into why must PAP win by such a big margin and the unscrupulous means they sometimes take to attain that victory. it was just by pure coincidence that later that evening i was watching the history of singapore, largely talking about singapore’s plastic SQ girls and JB Jeyaretnam.

We agreed that we cannot consider whether a person is good or bad when he is still living, only when he/she is in the coffin with the nail on can we decide. we talked about the solar lamps at potong pasir seetoh fixed during his term of office, that only 1 out of the 7 are working, and chiam see tong refuses to take responsibility in repairing them as he cannot, he agreed with him on this. im not sure whether what he said was true or not but well, interesting to know certain facts.

then he went on to talk about the throngs of people at marina sq ytd watching the fireworks, clogging up 3 out of 4 lanes of fullerton bridge, and how he lost money last night because of that. i second to the crowd part, it was madness on saturday i tell you.

ok im hungry, im going to tony cafe.

so august is here again. i hope it goes fast, together with september, so after that i can focus on everything i need to, so many things to look forward to towards the end of the year.

so a week has passed since i last blabbered. this week was an interesting week. i had the best  (green tea frap) i ever drank b4 made by jieqi, eh nice la, dun say i sound fake, see i even talk about u here. okay i must admit i was being very evil, i insisted she make it cos i know she hates to make this drink due to the powder but well it turned out fine, she did not try to poison me or anything.

on wed, i was supposed to be at city hall by 9, and i was on course on being early for the first time. but an indian guy decided to molest this chinese lady beside her in the bus, and she cleverly told the bus driver, who called the police. so delay. then when i finally got on the NEL, some idiot decided to press the emergency button, so the station controllers went to all of the 24 doors at farrer park and checked if anything was wrong. so like 3 of my friends have said so far, you are not fated to be early…

singapore has a population of 4.2 million. half of them were at marina sq on sat to watch fireworks, clogging up the whole transportation system near the area, and making all restaurants impossible to dine in, and aided marina sq foodcourt tenants to supernormal profits. so i gather singaporeans are crazy about it, despite the fact they see it so many times a year. i must admit im one of those fools who still join in everytime one goes off, but i marvel at the aunties and uncles who ‘chop’ their seats even before the organisers even decide where the fireworks should go off.

and to hell with that idiot who checked my id at cheers ytd when i decided to get a beer. you need a bladdy lesson on judging a person’s age.

its monday tmr. but natl day is on this week, and its my good friend’s birthday this coming weekend.